A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a huge week for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

The first piece involves all of us via xojane, the women’s web site headed up by Jane Pratt (my personal hero)

(I’m serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled »
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,» this piece belongs to the «it just happened if you ask me» element which also existed at JANE journal and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting individual experiences.

The unknown writer of this piece, which we’ll phone «Ariel,» is clearly bisexual, but because she readily provides hit tasks to her male partners but does not big date or typically go down on females, she actually is, she explains, commercially, merely a »

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.» (She additionally relates to herself as «mostly straight» and «straight» at some other factors inside narrative.) Her reputation started, she describes, when the woman basic lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — transpired on her behalf for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it and then right away fled the scene fearing her very own inability to do this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long time period.

She produces:

«obviously, term had gotten around that she and I also had installed which I’d remaining her hanging, which in fact had the strange effectation of giving me folk-heroine condition. Kelly labeled as myself a «pillow princess,» and henceforth, I found myself one. It actually was like some sort of flick conceit where character is mistaken for a hollywood and extends to drive in a limo and stay in a fancy hotel due to it.»

This apparently entirely resolved within her favor, as she romped about in school hooking up with lots of «aggressive types whom got down throughout the idea that I was unwilling to leave a woman touch myself.» Post-college, she shifted on the net, where she marketed this lady calm standing and frequently came across with ladies for NSA sex.

Close to the conclusion she problematically describes that when starting up with a woman she’s not drawn to, she merely shuts her eyes and envisions another person «while [the lesbian] really does her thing.» Often it seems like she wishes women to eat the woman away even though they can be presumably much better at it than the male is. She

could

go lower to them but «I am not online dating them, and I don’t think I would personally wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for someone sufficient to surrender.»

check ssbbw dating site here

I’dnot want to stay near to Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided intimate encounters are consensual and she’s only informing a true story of her existence, thus I’m not really certain what things to model of this (and I also’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if everything).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Project
) there is
We Married a Lesbian (and that I’m a Guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, «tended getting crushes on a single sort of woman: the celebrity baseball member, the football onward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some weren’t.» The guy wondered:

What is it that received myself oftentimes to women that were same-sex attracted? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream with what these people were undertaking in bed, and it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that I could change a gay woman straight.

In elements, the piece (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me within this quote from

Girls Nearby

,
that I cited in a write-up about feminine manliness
:

«â€¦if we’d to manufacture one other generalization about lesbian taste, it could be that many all of us tend to be incredibly drawn to women, gay or right, breathtaking or otherwise not, whom seem like capable take care of by themselves.»

The writer eventually marries a lesbian who delivered as direct, in which he discovered their own ensuing sex life to be unsatisfactory. She would not give him blow jobs and don’t enjoy penetration but joyfully approved his choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their particular sexless matrimony finished in divorce proceedings and a drug relapse (for him), he could be apparently caring to their ex-wife’s battle as opposed to labeling the woman as deceitful (as numerous associated with commenters carry out):

She had originate from an old-fashioned family who have now been profoundly embarrassed getting a homosexual youngster. She may also have understood, but did her best to conceal it, maybe wanting that her feelings might change. Or she might have been like more than a few ladies I recognized, and only found her correct sexual identification after already getting hitched to men.

What exactly is redeeming about this article in my opinion that the author’s conception of his own sex is usually free from the traditional male posturing any might anticipate in a piece like this (he also refers to himself as «femmy»). Maybe it just appears that way because guys very seldom come up with wanting powerful, athletic, powerful females with short-hair; but it is refreshing nevertheless.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for informing their unique tales, but it is really worth mentioning that both narratives apparently drive on idea that room conduct could be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a «warning indication» he missed, when entrance is rarely a solely heterosexual work (it seems inclined Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a person she did not truly want becoming with, yet you never know) and slipping in love, eventually, is focused on your own snatch but it’s also regarding the cardiovascular system and it is typically about having intimate feelings. Those passionate emotions are the thing that turns a hook-up union into a relationship, most likely.

Finally at

nerve.com

there is a sweet story right from the pony’s mouth area —
My Personal First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I think this is the very first time the «First Time» series has actually featured a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth quality, the writer confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian emotions on her, along with her best friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian union and they’re nevertheless with each other today and this woman is a grown-up when you look at the military!

It appears they have yet to just take their union out from the cabinet, which will be a bit puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this story ended up being created before DADT was repealed, although it just got published, thus nothing is puzzling happening here. This is simply straight-up nice in most method, unequivocally.]

The main focus regarding the portion (which is extremely sexy and sweet) is found on the author’s knowledge of
exactly what lesbian intercourse is quite
:

We’d never ever been down on every different, and I also was actually pretty sure that is what we’d meant as soon as we said we wanted to have sex. (Now we realize that absolutely more to fucking than slurping a female’s pussy and contacting it each and every day.)

She concludes:

I understand that many folks differ in what virginity ways to a gay woman, but virginity is very personal, therefore actually is determined by the person you’re asking. Some individuals might say penetration needs to be included, but I think its doing anyone shedding his/her virginity. Basically feel like I lost my virginity, then goddammit, We have!

I have invested a good many morning and mid-day watching word press, trying to figure out just what point i possibly could generate about these pieces. I imagined a large number about the reason we’d never ever submit «I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess» with this web site but can’t work through the explanation that I’d fear 50 people would vow not to go back right here while the remaning many-thousands people would combat with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating loss of the world. We envisioned some body submitting «I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess» to united states via email then I imagined the editorial conference where we would will that tale and all sorts of say «NO» concurrently.

In searching for a spot to gleam because of these tales, i have made an effort to determine what you might think or state, and that I cannot, and that I wish to finish this article asap to speed up the procedure of me personally finding-out how you feel about these tales. Yup, the very first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, I got no clue what to say about something. Very perhaps i will merely ask you to answer — what’s your own a reaction to these parts?